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19 January 2011

Today I Was A Crappy Mom

I really was.

I didn't get enough sleep, I didn't have enough patience and I was at the end of my wits. I raised my voice when I shouldn't have, I was cold when I should have been warm and I was selfish.

And I feel ashamed.

mama's feeling a little like this today

But I also feel grateful.

Grateful that I was able to recognize these things in myself. Grateful that despite all those bad feelings that were threatening to take over, I was still able to find that person inside me who desperately wanted to shine through -- to be a good mother -- but felt trapped.

It took me the entire day, but I managed to coax that person out. And she's timid, but hopeful.

And she knows that tomorrow will be different. She knows tomorrow doesn't have to follow suit, it just has to follow.







And everything will be alright.

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