Do You Play The Lottery?

Every few weeks I buy a lottery ticket, and it sits in my purse until I remember to get it checked at the grocery store, and then I pick up another one. I've never been a habitual lottery player, but my mom is.

When I was in high school, my mom won the lottery.

I remember waking up to sounds of exciting downstairs, a voice saying we won over and over again. I had no idea what was happening.

As I came downstairs I was stopped just short of the bottom by my mom and her partner, huge grins, eyes wide.

We won, we won, we won!

A lottery ticket and that morning's paper were shoved into my hands as I read out the number. Sure enough, it matched. And we were all a little stunned.

My mom, not wanting to risk a possible newspaper typo (and since we didn't have the internet, couldn't check online) took the ticket to the same convenience store where she bought it, and sure enough, the numbers didn't lie.

It was definitely the start of something very interesting for our family. And despite the fact that perhaps lightning doesn't strike twice, my mister and I still buy tickets every so often and keep our fingers crossed. It'd be a nice retirement fund, right?

Do you ever play the lottery? Do you check via lottery.net, or another online site? Or do you check it in person? In Ontario we have little kiosks where you can scan your tickets, but I still like to take mine to an actual person for some reason. Call me old fashioned!

Image source: Lisa Brewster via photopin cc

One Of Those Days

Wednesday was just one of those days.

The day before, I headed to the hospital to support one of my doula clients who was in labour. By Wednesday afternoon, I had been at the hospital nearly 20 hours -- the point where, if timing allows, I will take a break to catch an hour or two of sleep, a shower, a bite to eat. As I was able to take a moment from the hospital, I drove to my partner's work to grab lunch with him.

That's when he noticed the bulge in my car's front right side tire. A bulge creating a super thin bit of tire, which I'm still surprised didn't burst before I got to his office.

Since having my tire explode on the highway home isn't exactly something I care for, we made a trip to Canadian Tire, where thankfully they were able to change my front tires for two lovely new ones.

Fine and dandy. Not what I wanted to spend my hospital break doing, but that's life.

My partner and I did manage a bite to eat and a coffee, before I headed home to shower, picked up Gretchen from daycare and brought her to her father's, then made my way back to the hospital to rejoin my clients.

After finishing up at the hospital, I was riding on just a few hours sleep from the evening before, frustrated with the fact that births don't always play out the way we'd like, and craving some time to decompress.

I got to my car, took a deep breath, and blew it all out, nice and slow, just as I have my clients due during contractions. Deep. Cleansing. Breaths.

Then I turned my key in the ignition.

And the gas light came on.

Sigh.

Off to the gas station I went. Then to pick up groceries before finally making my way home.

Over the last week I've been keeping a close eye on my Neon's odometer because I was coming up on a milestone: 123,456kms. I really wanted to get a picture when it happened.

I parked in the lot at the Superstore, and suddenly remember to look down at my dash.

Yup. Just one of those days.

My Kia, My Summer: Tailgating Traditions

My mister and I have a Saturday morning tradition, which started last summer, involving a visit to the local farmer's market for coffee and incredibly spicy sausages.

It all started after our favourite farmer's market fare began to be less and less tasty, and we discovered a new delicious breakfast food -- locally made sausages from a quirky vendor. So yummy, and maybe you wouldn't think that's a great idea for breakfast, especially when paired with coffee, but we LOVE it, and now it's become a Saturday morning tradition for the entire season.

Our tradition also involves us tailgating in the back of our Kia Soul.

Sometimes we bring a picnic blanket, but most weekends we sit together in the back hatch, munching away and chatting about our plans for the rest of the weekend. Sometimes my daughter is with us, and she climbs right into the back and sits cross-legged with her snack.

Last summer we even folded all the seats down and watched iPad movies outside at night. It was like a little mini campout in the driveway!

When my partner first bought the Soul I pretty much fell in love with it. It's such a different looking car, and if I were in the market for a new car myself, I really think I'd get one too. (Are matching cars too much??)

The Soul is adorable, roomy, and fun.

We've taken a lot of summertime road trips in this car, and have never once felt like we didn't have enough room for everything we needed. We also moved earlier this week and, excluding big furniture, we could fit everything into the back with the seats folded down.

I'm definitely looking forward to next weekend, for more morning tailgating... and later this month, another camping trip! We put our Kia to the test, and she's never let us down. (Time to inform my partner I just called his car a girl. But I don't think he'll mind.)

Hope you're enjoying your summer, friends! Time for one more GPO me eating a sausage. Peace!

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

On Clumsiness & Silly Injuries

I get hurt a lot.

I'm clumsy, and though I don't feel like I'm especially uncoordinated, I tend to injure myself in the strangest ways. ALL THE TIME.

Take moving day for example...

Injury no. 1: While carrying a big box into the house, I smashed my left hand into the banister, resulting in a full hand bruise, as shown below. I'm just glad I didn't actually break a finger or my hand, but the bruising is pretty nasty. It hurts to make a fist or wiggle my fingers.

Injury no. 2: Gauged my leg on the corner of a box, just a bit of skin taken off, not too much blood.

Injury no. 3: While trying to move an electrical cord out of the way, I crawled along the floor and reached to push the cord into the corner, hitting eye on the corner of the bedside table. Now it's a bit swollen and red, but doesn't look as bad as it feels.

I also stubbed my toe in the car (go figure) and broke a toenail, got a splinter loading shelves, and pinched my arm trying to push two bookshelves together.

Seriously. This is my life all the time. I have NO idea how I've never broken a major bone or been seriously injured the point of needing a hospital visit. I've had my share of broken toes/fingers, but nothing that actually necessitated a cast or stitches.

My partner is so used to my constant injuries. He just gives me a sympathetic look, smiles... and gets a bag of ice or a band-aid.

I also break a lot of stuff -- dropping it, somehow knocking items off shelves, tripping over whatnots. The phrase this is why we can't have nice things is uttered A LOT within our walls.

Anyone else walk through life, accident after injury after bruise? I barely even bat an eye when it happens now... I'm not even surprised. Ever have that feeling?

Update, 5:02pm: I just ran around outside with the dog, stepped on a rock, and now my foot is gushing blood. See. Told you.

I Have Four Things To Tell You

Sometimes life gets exciting and busy and wonderful and I forget to share kind of big stuff on the blog. So today, I'm sharing four pieces of news that I've probably tweeted about, but haven't sat down at the keyboard long enough to really explain.

So here it goes!

01. I'm going to BlogHer'13.

Ok, so this you know because of the wee badge I've got up in the right hand corner... and it was sort of mentioned in this post, but really, I haven't dedicated a moment to it as I should have. I'll be attending BlogHer'13 in Chicago, and will be in the city July 25th-28th. The first and only blogging conference I've attended so far, was BlogHer'11 in San Diego -- and I had such an amazing experience. 

Honestly, meeting bloggy friends is one of my favourite things in the world. There's nothing like connecting with people after following their lives, and chatting online, and getting to really know one another before you ever meet. For example, I've contributed to the blog Child Mode in the past, and wrote with its founder, Nadia, over on another blog, and finally this weekend we had a chance to meet in person! She happened to be near Peterborough, check out Viamede Resort, so we met up and I got to meet her three gorgeous children too. Such a great visit!

Nadia and I are working on some blog ideas for later in the summer... can't wait to share!

Also, if you're going to be in Chicago next month, give me a shout! I'm hoping to meet even more of you lovelies!

02. I got glasses.

After months of thinking to myself, "Driving at night shouldn't be this hard", I went to get my eyes checked and walked away with a prescription to help deal with my deteriorating ability to see things that are far away. And WOW what a difference they make. It's a tiny prescription, but for driving and distance, I'm a much happier girl with my glasses on. I'm still a bit stunned at how much I can see with them on! Hello leaves on trees and far away billboards! The world is crisp and clear!

03. I started writing for The Inquisitr.

If you've been reading So Fawned for a while, you might know that I used to write full time for Celebrity Baby Scoop, and that I currently contribute to Mom Spark, a mama blog founded by the lovely Amy.

After making the decision to close my shop, I knew I'd be back writing and sure enough, was able to land myself a gig with The Inquisitr. Currently an intern and loving it!

04. We're moving to the country. 

Here's the big one. Earlier this year my mister and I moved in together, and this week, we'll be putting the condo on the market, and moving to the country, to a farmhouse owned by family. You've probably seen my Instagram feed filling up with images of fields and barns, orchards, and the most beautiful old home. I'm thrilled for the chance to have Gretchen experience what it's like to live in the country, with endless fields to play in, fresh air, and lazy summers days. 

We can't wait to enjoy the peace and quiet of rural life -- something we both grew up loving. It's also just about 20 minutes out of town. A summer of bonfires and sipping tea on our wraparound porch is about to begin. That barn above? That'll be my view from my new office. Incredible. 

So there we have it. Four bits of news -- four things that are making me very, very happy. 

My next post will come to you from the farmhouse. Peace!

When One Door Closes: Saying Goodbye To Tango & Stepping Into The Next Phase Of My Life

This evening, after a week of decompressing, I posted the following on my Facebook wall:

Last week I made the tough choice to close Tango. Owning a store downtown was the fulfilling of a dream for me and I will never regret having taken over the shop as a single mother at age 25 and creating a space that ended up being truly my own. However, in business there are always highs and lows, risks and adventures -- and after much deliberation, I knew it was time to say goodbye to the shop.

"Greatness is not achieved by never falling, but by rising each time we fall."

And so I'll rise and enjoy this new phase of life.

Thank you so much to the friends and family who have been incredibly supportive and to all who helped Tango be a special chapter in my lives. 

Last Wednesday I closed the doors and said goodbye to a part of my life that will always be special -- that taught me so much, and that I will always remember as growing experience. I am humbled and honored by the support of my friends during this time. I also shared this:

I want my friends to know that this is a choice that does not sadden me, it's a choice that I made that will open up new opportunities. I have returned to blogging full time, with my doula career flourishing too, and there are no regrets, mes amis. I'm proud to have done what I did. And I knew when the time was through. Much love.

To me, despite the fact that my store did not succeed in the greater sense, this is not a sad decision or a negative time in my life. I am excited for the chance to begin anew and face the future with a thirst for broadening my mind, feeding my soul, and encouraging -- nurturing -- new growth in not only my work, but my life, and the lives of those around me.

It really has been a season of change. Everywhere I turn, I am hearing stories of big life changes, moves, new jobs, breakups, new babies, engagements, divorces. And I'm so proud to see people thriving on change and acknowledging that without it, we'd be bored. Stale. Unhappy. Complacent. And what sort of LIFE is that?

So, cheers, dear friends. To the new. To the future. To moving on & making the most of it all.

Peace & prosperity. 

On Fate & Letting The World Take Care Of You

I tend to live by the belief that everything in our life happens for a reason. Sometimes we can’t yet understand that reason, but I’ve found that in time, the answers tend to present themselves.

Earlier this week, after spending months trying to find my lost passport and birth certificate, I caved in and decided it was time to start the new ID ordering process online. I hadn’t been able to find my passport in such a long time, and since BlogHer’13 is coming up… I knew I had to just give in and accept the fact that I’d have to get a new one.

Read more...

#InYourWords: A New Series Hosted By The Conscious Perspective

A dear friend of mine is creating a new series, with the help of readers, focusing on the stresses of Millennials/Gen Yers, aka those born between about 1982-2000. This is a generation filled with those who are overwhelmed, worried, lost, depressed... yet hopeful. And Heidi, the lovely woman behind The Conscious Perspective, has dedicated herself to bringing the stories of this generation to light.

From her blog:

My hope is to help raise awareness about the issues we face, to promote compassion and understanding across generations by allowing us to better understand each other, and to offer a platform for those who are struggling to know that they are not alone.

I encourage you to visit her site, share your stories, and connect with others. We are not alone, friends. Let's share in our hardships, our successes, and our lives.

Thank you, Heidi, for hosting this new series. I look forward to reading through... and perhaps contributing myself!

Choices, Choices, Choices

When I was a little girl, my after school activities kept me busy most days of the week. From German school, to Brownies and Girl Guides, to choir, to gymnastics, horseback riding, piano lessons… the list goes on. I loved absolutely every activity, but as an adult, I have few ties to any of them.

By now, I could be fluent in German… but I’m not. I could be an accomplished pianist… but I’m not at all. And that’s what gets me stumped when it comes to choosing extracurriculars for my own daughter.

Read more...

That Time I Missed A Week Of Life & My Birthday

Remember my last post... on the 13th? When Gretchen was just getting better and life was good again? Well, here's the Cliff's Notes version of what has been happening since:

Sunday April 14th: I woke up with achy muscles and within an hour or two was in so much pain I couldn't move. I stayed in bed, delirious, cold (actually very feverish), and in pain. By that night my partner convinced me a trip to emerg was in order. I spend the evening having blood taken and hooked up to fluids via IV. I was sent home with antibiotics for a possible sinus infection. 

Monday/Tuesday: Home, agony, could barely move or talk. Breathing was difficult and laboured.

Wednesday aka my birthday: Another day at home in bed, by that evening I made my second trip to emerg. I was sent home a few hours later with painkillers. The doc told me to wait out the antibiotics. 

Gretchen made me the sweetest card. Rich brought it to the hospital. I missed her so much.

Thursday: A day on the couch, couldn't move, face became numb after taking painkillers, nothing was helping. I booked in for a doctor's appointment that evening. During the appointment, I could hardly speak in full sentences, did my best to explain the week. He sent me back to the hospital. That night is a blur of IV fluids, being locked down in emerg, my friend and then my partner at my side. Antibiotics were started and I drifted in and out of sleep. Thank you pain meds. 

Friday: I woke up to my partner at my side & I was eventually moved from one part of emerg to another. Lots of resting. 

Saturday: Still at the hospital, though I had hoped to go home that morning. Starting to feel more human. I can breathe and speak much more easily. 

 Tea & The Hobbit.

Sunday: Good news. I can go home. I have to be sure my blood count improves this week. I'm so excited to see daylight again.

Goodbye, room no. 7.

So now, Monday. I am very week and easily tired. One more blood test Thursday with a follow-up appointment one week from today. I'm very happy to be out of the hospital. Working hard to stay positive while I get my appetite and energy levels back up to what they were. Today I came into work for just three hours & I even managed to get my plate stickers renewed since I missed doing that on my birthday. 

Thank you so much to everyone for your support and well-wishes this week. Thank you to my partner for running all errands and helping make sure my daughter was where she needed to be. Thank you to Rich, and to my good friend Karen for bringing me food and driving me to/from the hospital and doctor's office. Thank you to the nurses who helped me get well. 

In the end, I think they decided I had some combination of blood infection, fungal infection in my esophagus and just some nasty complications from the fever. It was a bit of a scary week & I've absolutely never felt sicker. 

Looking forward to a 27th birthday re-do. Much love!

If I ever take a week off from life again, I hope it's for a nicer reason.

So happy to be HOME.

Hoping For Calm, Waiting It Out

We've had a trying week over here, folks. Gretchen has been battling a cold that has dragged on longer than I'd like. Nothing serious, of course, just toughing out that last stretch of mild fevers, coughing fits and runny nose nonsense, but she's sick of it and I hate seeing her upset and ill. No one's getting much sleep, but she's been in good spirits for the most part... such a little trooper... and she's eating well, drinking well. The worst part might be her poor sore face from all the nose-wiping action that has taken place.

Does anyone have an effective remedy for what one of my best friends would call "snot rash"?

It's the worst thing in the world, to watch your kiddo in such an uncomfortable state, with no way to make her well immediately. About two weeks ago, everyone came down with that nasty stomach flu, including G. And now we're dealing with this. Sigh. Can't catch a break. And to top it off... the weather in our area has been awful too. Nearly two weeks into April and we've got ICE and SNOW again. Seriously, mother nature. What gives?

Hopefully we're nearing the end of the sick and beginning of happier weather. My birthday is in a week. Fingers crossed for recovery all around. Happy babe. Happy weather. Happy mama.

Goodnight, mes amis. I hope Friday morning brings a calm vibe. Sleep well.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow!

Moving day is... tomorrow! The last few weeks have been crazybusyfast. Everyone around me had the stomach flu, including Gretchen and my partner, but I somehow managed to duck that insanity. Gretchen was such a trooper through her bouts of throwing up and I'm happy to report she's completely recovered and is back to being her fantastic, happy self again. There's nothing like watching your little ones go through something you can't fix for them immediately. Thank you immune systems and strong little bodies.

Now that everyone is well again, I'm in pure MOVE MODE which means I've spent approx. one day packing and I'm actually just about finished. With episodes of Friends playing in the background, a constant supply of tea, and my fabulous staff helping hold down the fort at the shop, I'm just about ready to pack up the moving van tomorrow and say goodbye to Hopkins Avenue.

I have to take just a moment to say how excited I am to be moving in with my partner. This will be the fourth time I've moved since starting the blog back in August 2008 and I'm really excited to share our new home with you. I can hardly believe tomorrow is the day!

The crazy phase! 

Ah, that's a bit better. Time to keep packing!

If you've been following over on Instagram, you've probably spotted my packing progress pics... and I have to say, it's going MUCH quicker than I had thought it would. Since I decluttered BIG TIME when I moved in the summer, I actually don't have any of that nasty sorting business to go through. (Yay!) Just popping stuff into boxes... and off we go!

I'll be sure to tweet along on moving day and as G's new room comes together. Can't wait!

Send all those good moving vibes tomorrow! Peace!

Sunday Love

I just wanted to share this one snapshot from our trip to the zoo earlier today. There might be some snow left on the ground, but it's absolutely, gloriously mild, sunny & breezy.

A perfect Sunday with my lass.

Two weeks til moving day.

A busy time ahead. So lovely to take this moment to breathe deep, rest up & wake up to the coming season.

Peace.

Springtime Ch-Ch-Changes

Springtime all about change, and this year, that couldn't be more true.

Mid-March, Gretchen and myself, will be living with my wonderful partner, Rich. A move across town & the start of a new phase in our lives. It is never a simple choice to begin a relationship with someone as a single mother -- and as we move towards growing our love into a life together, I feel nothing but happiness. Choosing Rich to be someone so important in my daughter's life has been an absolutely organic decision. Beginning as friends, I knew he would always be someone special in my life. We grew together, moved around each other and fell in love. My daughter is smitten and has developed such a fondness for this man -- the most kindhearted, generous, loving, caring, brilliant man. And I fall for him in new ways every single day.

Spring is all about change. Positive. Welcomed with an open heart. 

Happy Fourth Birthday, My Love

My (not so) little Fawn turned four today & she has grown into the most wonderful human. I absolutely adore her and I'm thankful for the close relationship we have. She's my love, my life. My heart. She teaches me so much about life, about living. She's got a zest for learning and trying new things. Looking back over these last four years, I can hardly believe all those little changes actually happened.... from the day she was born, pulled up onto my belly. "Did you squeeze me tight?" she asked as I explained that she was laid on my stomach just after she emerged. "Oh yes, I squeezed you tight."

I love how curious she is about her world, and how she gets a thrill over learning new skills. She has recently mastered the "th" sound and is now quite specific, and will sometimes pause, in order to get it just right. (She has also added it to a few other words where it doesn't exist, which makes me smile a lot, as in "Whathhh are we having for dinner, mama?"

Today she wished me a happy birth day too. I think she understands how important it is to me to talk about her birth. She loves asking about it. We talked about her birth minute, 9.29pm and how that is the very moment she came into the world.

When I wished her a happy birthday this morning, she glanced down at her body, right down to her toes and gave me a puzzled look. "Am I four now?" she asked. "I'm not big enough to be four." I think her idea of four is what my idea of sixteen was. I think she was expecting a very noticeable change, but she doesn't see what I see. She's grows by the day, this one. I'm always noticing another aspect of her changing... growing... learning. Amazing me always.

You're definitely big enough to be four.

And four is going to be a big year, little one.

Our best year yet.

Birthday Cake Inspiration

In my head, I'm already planning Gretchen's 4th birthday shindig. Something small and mellow, with friends and yummy food. I also want to make her a carrot cake... a favourite at the House of Fawn. Recently I came across another beautiful recipe which I have to share with you guys, if only for the fabulous doily pattern. We all know I LOVE doilies, right? Well take a peek below...

Swooning along with me? Yum.

I'm absolutely in love with A Tale Of Two, a new-to-me blog that I've been just pouring over. Beautiful images, recipes, treats & more. You're going to love it.

PS. Gretchen will turn four on the 29th. Just wow. 
PPS. Did I ever tell you guys about the awesome numbers associated with Gretchen's birth? Born January 29th, 2009... at 9.29pm... after 19 minutes of pushing... weighing 9lbs 6oz. Neat.

{Wordless Wednesday} A Look Back At NYE

Feels So Good

Wanna see what I've been cookin' up over at Mom Spark? Clickeroo!

• Let's get motivated!
• Cozies for the season!
• Fun DIYs... now that the holidays are over... why not make them for yourself!

Absolutely

Source.

A Girl & Her Dog

Winston had been on a little vacation at my mom's place for the last little while, but as she's moving to a new house this week, Winston's back home. Kitten was THRILLED to see him, pounced him, purring & mewing and licking his face. It was the sweetest reunion. Gretchen's also happy to have her pal back.

Wishing my mom the best on her big move. Usually G is with her on Monday's while I'm at the shop, but she's a busy bee today, so Gretchen's hanging out at Tango with me while I tackle our IKEA purchases from yesterday. I'll share photos once I've finished a few things here.

How was your weekend, mes amis? Did you do anything holiday-esque? We attended G's 3rd parade of the year and dared to brave IKEA on a December Sunday afternoon, so that was interesting, but it all went well. Grechen's SO good in stressful situations like that. And my mister keeps me calm, so we still left smiling! Plus... it's always a bonus when all your IKEA boxed purchses FIT in the car. A win for us!

Have a great Monday, friends. Peace!